Doting Mother Leaves Bachelor Blogger to Own Devices

Shockwaves were sent through the Corvallis/Salem Area fast food community as Bloggers Mother left to spend a month on the east coast. The fast community is hoping that Bloggers Mother's absence will tide them over through the rough times caused by this month's minimum wage increase.

"The cost of business is going up," stated local Taco Bell Manager Joe Johnson, "But with Mark Bigger living here, we're hoping that we can get through these tough times without any layoffs."

A residual effect has been felt at the local Blockbuster Video Store. Store employee Josey Joseph explains the emptiness of the action/adventure section.

"Mark Bigger likes movies where people leave life with an exclamation point," she said in an obvious reference to the fine drama contained in action movies and portrayed in the act of dying. "Mark Bigger also seems to like movies where characters travel in a way that he can emulate while driving to work in the morning."

Blogger is happy to report that his last four interactions with officers of the law ended with what are commonly referred to as "stern warnings." Blogger hates the hassle of unnecessary paperwork or unpaid courtroom appearances - another thing that action movies seek to avoid.

Blogger also enjoys movies that avoid the terrible mistake of having feeling based dialogue beyond Blogger favorites like "I think I'm going to enjoy killing you." He encourages everyone to send a strong message to Hollywood that the action/adventure genre fulfills a positive role in affirming bachelors in their life decision.

He also supports lower minimum wage laws so that bachelors can eat at fine restuarants without fear of their favorite "courtesy worker" being laid off.