BLOGGERS LEARN HISTORY FROM 11TH CENTURY CARTOONS

The French have this little town near the Normandy coast, which they call Bayeux, after a tapestry called the Bayeux Tapestry which they named after the town. It's also the hometown of William, who figures in later, so remember his name.

The Mont St. Michel is a mound of rock rising out of the ocean on the Normandy coast, somewhat southwest of the Normandy D-Day beaches (see here http://www.tourdfrance.com/Images/msm.jpeg). The Coast there is pretty flat, so the island looks like something out of a fairytale, just rising from the sea. The bay extends around the island and beyond, and it is also flat. When the tide comes in, the island is cut-off from the mainland. When the tide is low, you can reach it by foot or hoof if you can avoid the quicksand. During the Hundred Years War the English tried to attack the Mont, but lost companies to the quicksand and the incoming tides. They learned faster than the tourists, however, because they stopped trying to attack the Mont, whereas tourists get caught and drowned ever year. It was first used as a priory (smallish version of a monastery) in 708 a.d., and was reestablished in the 1100's by the Benedictine order. They built a cathedral and town that encompased the entire island, giving it the distinctive look and profile that it has today. The spire has a 12-ft gilded statute of Michael the Archangel on the peak. The founding bishop was a literal kind of chap, so in many key places in the cathedral you can see bare rock of the Mont sticking through the stone walls. This was because the Bishop wanted to symbolize the "on this rock will I build my church" by letting folks see the rock of the island in strategic spots.

Now, the tapestry. See, it turns out, the common people have always needed the help of propaganda in simple forms to help them understand What Just Happened. After William the Bastard conquered England and became William the Conquerer in 1066, his supporters in Hastings commissioned a 73 foot long tapestry, essentially a giant comic book, except it was very expensive and took five years, showing scene by scene the conquering of England from the French persepctive. It shows, in vivid embroidery, why Harold was a futz and a liar, and why William had to go and conquer England on principle. Lots of chopped off heads along the borders help you understand what happened to the English for their evil deed of not making William the King. It was actually quite enlightening.

So William lived in England and became William the Conquerer, leaving behind a contingent of French in Normandy. It all got complicated when the French in Britain who had followed William there decided that they were happier being English, and defected. The French in Normandy got furious at the French in England, and so they all fought the 100 Years War. They had different strategies, of course, as befits French living on different shores, with the English trying to Conquer Stuff, while the French made omelets. History has not yet decided the victor of the military side of this epic contest, although it is clear that the English won on the economic front as the whole affair has now been exposed as a brilliant and cunning plan to set up a historical background for the Patrick O'Brian novels.

So I can now say that my understanding of English history is based on a 73 foot cartoon embroidered over five years by monks in Hastings and sent back to Bayeux so that the poor town would have a name.

On a related note, I have now touched deep into my family roots in Paris and connected to a time when I was growing up. No, I am not French. Don't be mean. I have connected with my inner child, and he likes escargot. You see, when I was 2 or 3, I loved to go to the backyard, find a nice, crisp snail, and just go nuts with it. I am told that I said I liked the way the shells crunched between my teeth. My mom was a little spooked by the whole thing, so my brother Tim was assigned the duty of pulling the mangled remains from my resistant mouth. So naturally I had to try some escargot, but don't worry! I am not experiencing a regression. I find that my tastes have been merely refined and aculterated, and it is now the flavor that is desirable. I only ate the shells on two.

JS®

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