When in Rome . . . driving crazy, eating well, talking fast and loving life

The adventure of Rome started with trying to get there. Ryan Air, the self proclaimed" low priced airline", was our means of transportation, and boy did their name barely scratch the surface.

Upon boarding the plane, we discovered that SouthwestAirlines back in the states offers spacious cattle car accomodations compared with the sardine can like quality of the stuffy space given to you by your friendly Ryan Air representative.

Coffee was two and a half euro. Water was two and a half euro. I suspect they probably would have put the vice on us and charged us to use the toilet as well if it weren't for the large clean up costs associated with the venture.

The first glimpse of the friendliness of the italian people came when a large amount of them turned around in their seat and spent the flight talking to the person behind them. Seatbelt use was obviously something only grudgely complied with at landing.

Upon landing, the whole plane erupted in cheers and clapping - a sign of the deep held faith in Ryan Air and it's commitment to passenger safety. Everyone seemed happy to be safely on the ground.

Before I let JS go into a long explanation of the different historic landmarks of Rome, what they should mean to you, and how you are a stupid person for not knowing everything single little thing about them like he does, I thought it best to give a short discussion on what Rome is like today. Since it's so important to me, I thought I would start with one of my favorite topics. Of course, I'm referring to food.

For those raised on the belief that Italian food and good times were inseparable, Rome is a glimpse of culinary heaven. Blogger is happy to report that miles and miles of walking each day have kept him from mushrooming into a new dimensionm, but he still has noticed an alarming tendency to think in terms of meals instead of time.

For instance, "Ah yes, we saw the Pantheon right after the fettucine alfredo with olive oil and parmesan meal" has long since replaced any designation of time.

Food in Rome is not just a way of survival. It's the reason to survive and you can tell by the fact that every fourth person walking down the street has the jowls of an extra in one of the restuarant scenes from "The Sopranoes."

Food is also Italy's way of catching up. Husbands do not read their newspaper during dinner. They are way too busy eating while talking with their mouth full. It's quite charming if you don't watch too closely.

On the other hand, Italians also seem to have a truly friendly attitude toward life and those who share it. They are refreshingly nice and helpful and I suspect, being somewhat biased, that the good food has something to do with it. Afterward, if your meals are good, why not treat the rest of mankind a little better? Your cup runneth over.

Driving in Italy is a blast. Mainly of horns. Mopeds and motorcycles run everywhere and their riders risk death like the high cost of living has finally got to them.

Tiny little vehicles are all the rage. They look like a smaller version of Fred Flintstone's vehicle and I expect they get even better gas mileage than good old Fred. They should come with a sign that says "in case of collision, your body will be taken directly to the funeral home to avoid the high cost of possible hospital bills."

The small little cars are extremely cute. The car equivalent to a puppy.

But with bite.

Particularly cabs. One of our greatest joys was hiring a cab, then holding on for dear life as they sliced through the traffic with motorcycles on both sides (with no particular lane) not using their blinkers and generally running over everything that gets in their way. It truly is survival of the fittest, but amazingly, I did not see a single fender bender the whole time.

Italy rules Formula I.

Pedestrian life is somewhat short. No self respecting Roman will yield for a ped unless they are already in the crosswalk. Then they will see how close they can get to running you over without spilling their coffee.

Seth views pedestrian crossings as a sport. He nonchalantly steps into oncoming traffic and waits for them to all hit their brakes or slither past him. Then he playfully slaps the worst car offenders on the fender as they go by. In fact, he enjoyed the activity so much that he has prepared a complete blog post on it.

Blogger prefers basketball.

Or football.

Or tennis, or golf. I'd even prefer synchronized swimming.

Rome is not the cleanest city in the world - I think I could walk across the Tiber river on the sludge - but it certainly takes the cake for most preserved. They actually have to use "A.D. " to make sure you don't tack on an extra thousand years or so to the age of a building.

There are tremendous opportunities for furniture salesmen in Rome. There are huge buildings with absolutely nothing inside (except for paintings and statutes and stuff). Big buildings with huge drafts seem to the the order of the day. But tastes can change. Put couches and chairs and tables in there!

All in all, Rome was a fine place. The people were great and the way they drive makes you appreciate life. It's like skydiving with a group of Waffle House hostesses. Except the people have teeth here.