Glenn "Rhinestone Cowboy" Campbell has taken country music back to old school. Glen has becoming increasingly annoyed with young country stars that sing about lives they've never lived.

"Glen's angry that half of the country musicians out there are only casual drinkers," stated a long time fan, "They don't know how to get rip roaring drunk, get behind the wheel, crunch some foreign-made automobile and then top of the evening with a friendly kick or two at local law enforcement personnel. How can they sing about this stuff?"

Arizona police were not amused at Mr. Campbell's antics this evening when he hit a Toyota Camry, drove off, and upon being called on at home by Phoenix Police at 5 PM, had an alcohol level of .15. Mr. Campbell visibly struggled with the idea of being taken into police custody, placing his foot near a sergeants groin. Friends of the "Rhinestone Cowboy" claimed that he was just warming up.

"Glen was able to walk to his car under his own power" stated Kelly Winslow, a long time well wisher, "back when he lived with Tanya Tucker he'd have the bouncers carry him to the vehicle and still make it home. All this talk about a person who blows a .15 being too drunk to drive is ridiculous. This is Glen Campbell for crying out loud!"

Mr. Campbell's lawyers are looking at several defenses, including the fact that he could not have possibly been too drunk at 5 PM. Jimmy Buffet was just getting off work.