Al Gore Endorses Howard Dean, Promises to Use Gillette Razers To Soften Image

Al Gore today had a ringing endorsement of Democrat Candidate Howard Dean. "This isn't about the other candidates," stated Gore, "It's not about my running mate last time who caused me to lose, it's not about any of them. The fact of the matter is Howard Dean has Maple Powered Howard Ice Cream named after him. You can't beat that."

Maple Powered Howard was introduced by Dean supporters Ben and Jerry. Ben and Jerry are often confusedly identified as the two main characters in "Dude, Where's My Car?" In fact, they are makers of an extremely fine tasting ice cream that they only sell in tiny little containers to avoid the exorbitances of capitalism. For those tiny little containers, they charge extremely high prices as a reminder to everyone of how much things would cost if we were under the form of government they would prefer.

Al Gore continued, "Howard continues the tradition of Democrat candidates that everyone except for Walter Mondale followed. Of course, I'm referring to his name. A good name. A name of someone you can have a beer with. A name like Jimmy, Willie, or Al. Howard. That's what voters look at and that's what I'm making my judgement based on."

Al Gore still points out that he received 500,000 more of the popular vote than GW in 2000. "I've never been voted most popular before. For once, I felt like I was in the 'in' crowd and I don't care if most of those votes did come from dead people in Chicago and New Orleans."