In a move solidifying his status as a leader in the Democratic Primary, General Wesley Clarke successfully solicited support from Hollywood and the entertainment world, including Jennifer Lopez and Madonna.

"Entertainers are the intellectuals of the Democratic Party" stated leading Democrat consultant Geoffrey Rush, "The Washington Democrat establishment has long since proven their uneffectiveness. With noted thinkers like Madonna, J-Lo, and Barbara Streisand on his side, General Clarke will have the best intellectual firepower available to go up against George W. and his band of cronies."

With Madonna and J-Lo wrapped up for the General, other Democrat candidates are scrambling for leftovers. Keanu Reeves is now a top target for candidates such as Howard Dean and Richard Gephardt.

"Keanu's success in the Matrix and the philosophy his most famous role espouses are perfect for Democrat candidates" states Mr. Rush, "the idea that we can confront our enemies and stop them with the strength of our beliefs and nothing else was solidified in the second Matrix. In Matrix Revolutions, Keanu demonstrated the same sort of coherent philosophy that the Democratic Party so strongly believes in. He's a perfect fit."

The world waits with anticipation to see who Michael Jackson endorses. The key to the Democrat primary could very well hinge on Michael's decision.