Blogger Defies Odds Once Again

There are certain statistics that indicate that when you comfortably put your hand on the sill of an open window of a car, your hand will remain undisturbed by insects. Furthermore, if an insect does light upon your hand, the odds are it will buzz away without further incident.

Blogger, however, defies the odds.

In the ten minute time (riding up to Yosemite) that his hand rested in repose out the window, an insect (bee) landed safely upon bloggers hand and before blogger could react, stun him on the thumb.

This was much to the amusement of blogger's fellow passengers.

Blogger is waiting for karma to rear it's ugly head and give those passengers their just desserts.

Political Observation from Blogger

Blogger heard that political activist and one time actor (he technically still acts, but other than "The Hunt For the Red October" Blogger cannot find any proof of him actually acting) Alec Baldwin sold off the engagement ring he got for Kim Basinger at an auction to benefit animals. His life would have been much better off over the last ten years if he would have got a pet instead of getting married and saved the money from the engagement ring for something useful: like relocating to foreign soil as originally promised if GWB won in 2000.

Bakersfield Basketball Team Ups the Ante

Blogger's basketball team won last night to go 3 and 0. They have one all three games by a combined 9 points (3 points a game). Blogger points out that this is good entertainment for the spectactors.

On a high note, the team has won by 1 point, then 3 points, and now 5 points. Could the next win come by 7 points? Steady improvement is the key.

Blogger also pointed out that there are two basic interpretations of winning three straight close games.

(1) Team is calm, cool, collected and incredibly intelligent under pressure.
(2) Team is lucky.

Blogger does not want to unduly influence readers decision on which one applies to this case. He realizes that readers can make a lucky guess, probably three in a row, without his guidance.

Blogger Reports that Criminal Defense Work is Quite Easy (except for one thing)

Blogger is happy to report that there is really only one serious problem with criminal defense. Of course, he's referring to the problem of clients not doing what you tell them they should do.

It should be noted that the clients are often in the position of needing blogger's legal services for the very same fault (not following advice). Blogger has found many clients who have made a career out of defying both law and logic who refuse to follow Blogger's advice and then are subsequently put in danger of receiving more punishment.

Blogger has mixed feelings on their receiving more punishment. After all, they should pay the penalty for not following his advice (world would be a regular Coke filled place of harmony if people would just follow blogger's advice), yet it looks bad when one of bloggers clients receives a stiff sentence.

Pray for Isaac St. Lawrence's Future Children

Last weekend, Isaac St. Lawrence took it upon himself to turn Blogger and Legal Pad residents into disciplined basketball players. For almost two hours he had us run full court fast break drills, run around like headless chickens setting picks (ever see headless chickens set picks?), and practicing our defense.

Blogger is putting forth inquiries to the legal possibility of buying stock in the future athletic endeavors of Isaint's children. Poor things.

Blogger Plans on Starting New Business Venture

While talking to the third mother of a client in two days last week (a mother who obviously believes that her boy would never do anything wrong and is, in fact, an angel in pinstripes) I came up with the idea to sell bumper stickers to clients.

"My child was inmate of the month at Madera County Jail."

Blogger thinks it's going to be a big hit.

Blogger Reflects on Two and a Half Months of Hotel Living

After two and half months of living in a Best Western Hotel, Blogger has announced that he will be departing for more traditional quarters this weekend.

"The fond memories I have of Best Western, free continental breakfasts, Cable during basketball season, and wake-up calls will remain with me for a lifetime." Stated Blogger, noticeable choking up at the thought of once again having to make his own bed. "When I struggled with the thought of living on my own and all of the personal responsibility that entails, Best Western made the pill a little bit more palatable."

Blogger will now be moving into an apartment located in Fresno, CA. Fresno is notable for the many bizarre murders and car thefts that occur. Blogger is taking preventive measures by continuing his plan of being gone every weekend as well as following his intentions to get a car that no one in their right mind would wish to steal.

As part moving into a new apartment, Blogger will truly have to wash his own dishes, make his own bed, and (what have I got myself into?) clean the restroom. Suggestions on best practices can be sent to mjbigger@juno.com.

Blogger reports that there is a weight room available to residents of his apartment complex. This will allow him to continue to pursue his goal of one day avoiding comparisons with a toothpick. He points out that basketball is a sport easier played if the other players on the court don't mistakenly think you are just an optical illusion.

Blogger Starts Bakersfield Basketball League with Legal Pad Members

The first scrimmage was held Tuesday and the Legal Pad's team prevailed by one point.

Blogger Contemplates: How can Blogger hit 4 of 6 from the three point line while only hitting 1 of 4 lay-ups? Eye Check.

The 260 mile after work round trip was accomplished with no speeding tickets, for which Blogger is grateful. Defensive and rebounding stalwart Seth O'Dell provided the muscle. Player/Coach J. Swanson provided the brains, and Point Guard Isaac St. Lawrence provided the energy.

Blogger Brings you this report of Bakersfield Basketball as a public service. He has noticed that none of the major networks covered the event.

Blogger Attempts to Open Up Consistent Line of Internet Communication

After a disturbing trend of library internet network problems and the online blogger absence this has caused, blogger has stepped to the plate to remedy the problem. He has purchased a Dell.

Blogger feels that in the interest of online entertainment, journalistic excellence, and the relentless pursuit of the wellbeing of this blog's readers, a laptop purchase was a justified, even necessary, expenditure.

There comes a time in the course of human events when we must dissolve the bonds that hold us to a desk and communicate to the world via wireless technology. This is such a time.

Communication takes many forms. It has overted wars (started 'em too), been the source of much humor, much sadness, and many large bills from corporations. Your blogger takes his role of providing online reading comprehension practice opportunities extremely seriously.

Once again, he apologizes for the lack of communication over this period of time. Upon his computers arrival he hopes to significantly increase his cultural contributions to the online world and to you, the blog reader.

Blogger Living Dangerously

"Warning: This is a no hostage facility. Employees of this facility will not negotiate with any inmate who attempts to use a visitor as a hostage." (sign outside of Madera County Jail).

Blogger still is not a fan of jail visits. The decor does not match up to his high standards.

He actually has found the people to be quiet friendly. Probably because even most mass murderers tend to look forward to seeing a visitor after seeing nothing of the outside world for a few months.

Blogger points out that since illegal drugs and alcohol are rare in Madera County Jail, inmates therein are more compliant than they are in the outside world. He refrains from further comment.