Blogger Applauds Bar Exam As Important Lawyer Character Building Tool

Many lawyers complain about the bar exam. I applaud it.

The Bar Exam teaches focus. It teaches you to be able to sit still for three hours at a stretch. It teaches you to carefully follow the instructions of the old people telling you what to do. To take it successfully, you must learn diligence.

In other words, the Bar Exam teaches many of the things that so many lawyers failed to learn in kindergarten.

Correction: Lowest gas was $1.61

Blogger goes on road trip, helps AAA with gas survey, wins the Reno to Las Vegas 450, and brings water to a dry land (everywhere)

Your Blogger rented a car and put 1700 miles on it this past weekend. Spots visited include Reno, Las Vegas, Hoover Dam, Kingman (AZ), the Mohave Desert, San Diego, and Los Angeles.

Blogger points out that gas prices are at an all time high. He saw regular unleaded as high as $2.40 a gallon (did not purchase) with the lowest being $2.61 (in Arizona). This is a sad day for road enthusiasts everywhere.

Blogger won the Reno to Vegas 450 by completing the 450 miles in just 6 hours. This includes stops and many little towns with 25 mile an hour speed limits. Throughout much of the race, Blogger had to fight snow and hail. Not a single vehicle passed Blogger on the two lane highway and no police officers stopped his progress. However, a policeman was spotted when Blogger was going 95, pulled out behind him, and followed him for about 15 miles (with blogger going just over the posted speed of 70) until Blogger came up behind another police officer and followed them into the next town (note, this added significant time to journey).

Note: Governor on Rental Car taps out at 120 (too bad, because the Mazda 6 seem to have enough punch to make it upwards of 140. Would have been fun).

Blogger made it through the evil cities (wedding chapels everywhere) of Reno and Las Vegas unscathed. In fact, he heartily endorses the fine buffets that can be found in such cities.

Blogger continues the trend of bringing water to a thirsty world. As he drove through the Reno to Vegas desert (backside of death valley), it rained, snowed, and even hailed for a minute there. As he went through the Mohave Desert (single digit yearly rain fall) it rained for an hour straight. As he hung out in San Diego, it rained to the point that the emergency broadcast system went off for people to evacuate due to flash floods.

Your blogger is a virtual waterpark of fun and rain games. Hydroplaning is an especially entertaining activity that can be done in the rain. Your blogger recommends that you only do so for short periods of time. Prolonged hydroplaning can lead to unplanned swimming sessions in the water filled ditch, unnecessary utilization of emergency personnel, and extended negotiation sessions with your insurance company.

Blogger enjoyed hanging out with his cousin in LA (and yes, it rained). He also thanks all of the law enforcement personnell over the last ten years who have teamed up to give him only one ticket (seven warnings, and thousands of suspicious glances).

Back in Madera, Blogger blogs on.

Blogger Explains Why He Has Refrained From Entering "The Passion" Fray To This Point

People everywhere have been weighing in on Mel Gibson's "The Passion." Your bachelor Blogger has abstained from reviewing the subject because of his suspicion that Mel Gibson's "The Passion" was some sort of a sequel to Mel Gibson's "What Women Want."

Upon further review, Blogger has decided that there is a completely different link between the two Mel Gibson flicks. IE, Mel Gibson made "The Passion" in penance for allowing himself to be in such a terrible movie as "WWW."

It's a good start. But if penance is the route, it hasn't been taken nearly far enough.

Blogger supports MG's efforts to tell the greatest story ever told in a forum where it is so often neglected. Blogger also points out that the greatest story ever told has absolutely no romance in it (Bachelor Savior with Agape Love for all Mankind). Therefore, it should be considered that the best stories are stories that follow along the same lines (heroic self sacrifice).

Blogger thanks Mel Gibson for his courageous stand and hopes that his continuing penance will include never, ever doing another "romantic comedy."

Blogger Blogs On. . . . .Blog, Blog, Blog. . . . . . .

Last evening, your blogger spent approximately two hours at a coffee shop contemplating life, reading books, and creating coffee shop personnel good will (very important). Then he embarked on a fitness journey involving a stepper machine set on high while watching basketball highlights on ESPN for motivation.

This evening, your blogger is contemplating going to Wal-Mart to roam the aisles so that he can debate with himself what he should or should not buy (sometimes it gets rather heated). Then he is thinking about embarking on a fitness journey of the upper body involving basic exercises of arm, chest, and wrist strength that strongly impart to blogger the importance of the eternal value of humility.

Your blogger shares all of this pertinent information with the blogging public at large as a public service. The information contained in such service is not intended or authorized to be used in any commercial manner, nor is such a use authorized without the expressed written consent of your blogger. Anyone who does not comply with these restrictions on usage shall be prosecuted for cruelty to whoever they forced to read this blog entry and should be in fear of being prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Blogger Considering Class Action Suit for Bakersfield Concert Goers

Blogger noticed on his way into a Sara Evans concert last evening a posting that said that by entering the premises you were impliedly giving your consent to be on Country Music Television (CMT. Showing tonight supposedly).

Blogger paused and thought about the amount of people in Bakersfield who could read. Then he subtracted those who can read but cannot understand the meaning of words like "implied" and "consent." He estimated that a full 300 people were unaware that their faces could in fact be on CMT. If Blogger was able to get a 50% contingent fee and sue for $10,000 a piece in damages, that would mean $1.5 million dollars for blogger.

Blogger pauses to reflect more on the virtues of being a California Trial Attorney.

World According to Blogger

Last night Blogger was hanging out with law school friends Doug (engineer, M.D., and Juris Doctor), Jonathan (knows seven languages. Can argue with 90% of the world's taxi drivers in their own language), Jeremy (can play any musical instrument, study any subject in less time than previously though humanly possible, and has read about half of the Library of Congress), and Seth (Singlehandedly has met and made friends with more interesting people than I have even read about, made more money when he was a teenager in law school with the business he started than I do as a lawyer, and drives fast enough to make even my head spin) and feeling quite smug and conceited: I am the only blogger in the bunch.

Blogger left Bakersfield at 1 AM last evening feeling immensely pleased with his place in the world knowing that he is unique even among the talented.

Ahem.

Blogger Under Weather

Blogger is under the weather suffering from a sore throat. He has foregone drinking any carbonated beverages, even when it is the only liquid available in the office, and has embarked on the process of rejuvation through not eating and extra sleeping. The extra sleeping phase will commence this evening.

He is happy to report that he has tomorrow off (Lincoln Day), works a half day Friday (office policy) and has Monday off as well (President's Day).

Blogger also mentions the great respect he has for our presidents and the very real and practicable impact that they have made on his daily life (particularly this week).

Blogger Suggests 12 Step Program for Sappy People

Actually, I won't even suggest the 12 step program that is really needed for proper rehab for interaction with the rest of the world. I'm just suggesting a compromise between sappy people of the world and other folk who still relate to the universe as if it existed.

We all know people who are beyond recall when it comes to the course their life has taken. They're hopelessly sappy. They are a syrupy mess. Case closed.

But even though blogger has come to the conclusion that some people's vacation from reality is indefinite, he feels that progress can be made for occasionally calling old friends on cell phone or otherwise interacting with the rest of the world.

The first step for such sappy people is simple: Admit that public sappiness is a terrible thing worthy of apology.

Sappiness is an affront to sensible people everywhere. it should be stopped.

But at the same time, sensible people should come to realize that like a habitual drug user, many sappy people do not have the will power to break their terrible cycle of dependency. Just as many drug users rob 7-11 or steal from their grandmother to support their habit, so many sappy people commit crimes against nature to support their habit (case in point: Normally intelligent male spending 6 hours of his weekend watching PBS Pride and Prejudice to support his habit).

All things being even, there needs to be a recognition on the part of sappy people that their sappiness (displayed for friends and relatives to see, or even just heard about by having to overhear one sided conversations by phone) is a severe disgrace to the inherent dignity of mankind that God has graced us with. Furthermore, non-sappy (sensible) people should recognize that many of their sappy friends are too dependent upon sappiness to fully kick their habit.

Recognition of these issues will go a long way toward restoring occasional forms of normal conversation between those adrift in the neurotic world of sappiness and the sensible folks who are perfectly happy except when confronted with the terrible condition that their loved sappy friends have gotten themselves into.

Bachelor Blogger Faces First Trial

In an affront to Blogger, a defendant for street racing hit on him today. Blogger fiercely resisted her overtures.

Blogger is beginning to regret the fine clothes he now owns and is thinking about wearing wire rim glasses.

Blogger Reports That All Is Well

Many people have inquired as to Blogger's Welfare. Thank you.

Blogger is happy to report that he has not been fired yet and therefore has not signed up for welfare.

Blogger Breaks Bank

After paying off bar fees, buying a carload of clothes designed to make Blogger look professional (even if incompetent) in the courtroom, and traveling across country charging every gas bill in sight, Blogger's visa privileges were temporarily suspended last weekend. Blogger explains:

"Citing 'unusual account activity' representatives of visa froze his account last Saturday. Evidently the notoriously carefree dress style of Blogger made his purchase of $700 dollars worth of clothing 'unusual.' Evidently visa does not consider Blogger professional enough to pay bar fees."

Blogger will forgive them. He always does. But he gave a stern warning to customer representative Sheila Johnson, "I am not predictable. I am an Oregonian Republican working as a California Trial Attorney in Criminal Defense. Do not freeze my account because of unpredictability. Call me on my cell phone like everyone else to hear the same excuses that I give everyone else whenever they call me to complain about my behavior."

Blogger reports that he has received over a half a dozen compliments on the way that he is dressing since his arrival in California (one of them from a judge). This is precisely six more compliments than he received during his 27 year stint in Oregon.

Blogger Visits Reknown Bakersfield Hangout "Buck Owen's Crystal Palace."

There are several things to say for Bakersfield folk: They eat red meat and they have red necks.

Blogger enjoyed a beautiful evening of laughing at other people dancing at the Crystal Palace (voted "Nightclub of the Year" two years running). The Buckaroos entertained the crowd with renditions of Country Hits. In fact, former Blogger friend, Jeremy Swanson, ordered a special request for Blogger "Redneck Girl." Blogger does not wish for any girls to be ordered for him. He is currently considering which hoops JS must go through before being fully forgiven (if such forgiveness is possible).

Blogger friends Isaac St. Lawrence and Seth Nathaniel O'Dell made fun of all the country folk. They especially seem to enjoy speculating on whether women rednecks buy their make-up by the pound in the bulk section of some hick beauty establishment and the apparent inconsistency that many redneck women will not step into a dentists chair but seem to enjoy surgerical procedures involving silicone (Blogger generously notes that Dolly Parton actually has nice teeth).

A devious trap was laid to try to induce Blogger to actually go down to the dance floor. He wisely sidestepped the carefully contrived snare with all of the aplomb and skill that you have come to expect from him. He also generously forgives the instrument of the plot, knowing full well that she was but a pawn in the hand of a master manipulator.

Fine food was served giving everyone an opportunity to show that you can chew and talk at the same time (a well used skill in the Palace.) Good time was had by all and Blogger looks forward to a future trip back to Buck's place.