Turkish Delight (Turkey was the Legal Pad's favorite destination of the September trip)

Here Blogger is in Turkey hanging out with two Australian girls. They coulddn't resist my accent.

Blogger note: The sole purpose of posting this picture was to use that joke.

Istanbul has one of the most incredible skylines in the world, September is the perfect time of year to enjoy it, and the mixture of european and middle eastern cultures and all the stories that goes with it brings a history lover great joy.
Legal Pad and our fearless Youth Hostel Friend, Sar. Sar was crazy. We were also quite concerned that he had a misconception of the English Language. He seemed to believe that every sentence should begin or end with a word that I was raised not to use. He would talk in an extremely unique accent using absolutely horrifying language but with an earnestness of expression that indicated nothing but good will and fun. Very entertaining.
Ah yes, the view of the stairway that gave us access to the roof top hang out at our hostel. Right across the street was the rival hostel, the horrible, awful, dreadful, Big Apple Hostel. This is business rivalry at it's best. Hooting and hollering from one hostel to another at night, etc. Good stuff.

April 17th Update on Your Tax Dollars At Work

Blogger turned his taxes in this year. He was not a happy camper despite breaking with tradition and putting the returns in the mail almost ten hours before the Post Office closed. Having a real job and being self employed can certainly hurt at this time of year.

In the spirit of helping the bitter pill of taxation become more palatable, Blogger has a suggestion for Uncle Sam to make his constituents more happy with paying their "fair share" this year. Of course, I am talking about taking a page from ministries such as World Impact in the form of a taxpayer appreciation letter.

Dear Mr. Blogger,

Thank you for your generous support throughout the year of the United States Government. I appreciate the hard work that you put in so that you can help provide for the less self motivated. It is my pleasure to give you an update on how your sponsored government subsidies are doing.

"Redneck Meth Addict" recently was caught breaking into a police detective's car just outside of the Oregon State Police building. Before your tax dollars went to work, RMA was stealing things just as fast he could to support his meth habit.

Now the government has him on over $300 a month worth of prescription pills while he watches cable at a Prison Facility near you. Your tax dollars made sure that RMA has three square meals a day, completely free medical care, a weight room, an exercise yard, and nothing but free time on his hands to take taxpayer provided educated courses. While some people may be resentful that they are paying for a convicts education, you stepped to the plate with your taxpayer dollars to make sure that RMA leaves prison a smarter, better read criminal.
RMA wanted to thank you for all you have done with him and enclosed this picture for you to put on your refrigerator. Would you consider a visit from him when he paroles?

"Big Momma" wanted to personally let you know how much she appreciates the food stamps, welfare, and HUD housing that you have so generously provided to her and her twelve children.


Big Momma had a difficult childhood. Kids would often taunt her on the playground by saying that she looked like Martin Lawrence. After she had her third child at the age of 17, she gave up her life long dream of being a regular extra in a rap video to talk to government social workers for a living.

Thanks to your generous support, Big Momma is now enjoying her daily soaps and any movie starring the Wayan brothers in the safety and comfort of her own HUD home. She is one more living example that your tax dollars truly do make a difference!

Thank you once again, Mr. Blogger, for your fine commitment to paying taxes. Your generous spirit and all it represents allows us to continue supporting people who do not want to work for a living.

This, in turn, means that all of those illegal immigrants sneaking over our borders will be able to find jobs that allow them to march through our taxpayer funded streets with our taxpayer funded policeman watching over their safety so that they can wave their national flags in protest that some narrow minded taxpayers object to their getting free medical care, taxpayer funded education for their children, and ballots printed in their language so that they can illegally steal elections in Washington State.

I sincerely hope that you will consider increasing your taxpayer dollars next year so that our government can continue to do great things.

Sincerely,

Uncle Sam

P.S.
Work hard out there. You've got people who depend on you!

Great Wall of China

Legal Pad Residents sitting on the ultimate stairmaster exercise program. Note goofy grin on display by Blogger. This is probably why an Israeli couple felt compelled to tell Blogger that he looked like "Chandler" from "Friends" on the bus ride from Beijing to the Great Wall. The Matthew Perry lookalike comments have been pretty consistent this year. A few months ago, a client said I looked just like the actor who played opposite Salma Hayek in "Fools Rush In." Hmm.
As far as the eye can see The Great Wall winds its way over hill and dale amongst green beauty marred only by the sleepy looking Legal Pad trio.
Blogger, looking particularly triumphant. The rest of our our two van loads of people rode to the top of the Great Wall of China via a tram like thing. The only exception to this was Seth, Jeremy, Mark and this America dude who we found out actually lives just outside of Bakersfield and is the former warden at the Tehachapi Prison. The hike up was extremely good for getting in shape. Then you get to the top and it is all about more stairs and up and down. It's Nike commercial material.

Blogger Provided Infomercial

Are you feeling incredibly busy, with way too much to do, and that you just can't slow down?

Does it seem like you are on a treadmill of life going faster and faster with absolutely no end in sight?

If so, you need to slow down, give yourself a break, and focus on something other than productivity.

You need a visit to the United States Postal Service!

That's right. Get away from people frantically accomplishing things in a neverending cycle of made and missed deadlines. Go to a place where time seems to stand still. The customer service line at the USPS.

Let's hear what Mark has to say about his experience at the USPS.

"This afternoon, I had so many things to do I was going out of my mind! Taxes, appointments, work, etc, I had no idea how to get it all done. So I took a trip to the USPS and took a much deserved break from the rat race.

Thank you, United States Postal Service, for reminding me why I need to pay so much in taxes this year!"

This infomercial is provided for the enjoyment and use of Blogger readers only. Any attempt to use such material in a USPS advertising campaign without paying Blogger at least twice the fair market value of the above literature will result in a feeling that Blogger is being robbed in comparison to USPS employees.

Blogger Admits Ignorance; Will Attempt to be More Open Minded

For many years Blogger has looked upon certain events as veritable black holes of boringness that no man in his right mind could possibly find a lick of entertainment in. These events are called "Baby Showers."

Blogger's narrowminded, preconceived, cave man like notions of Baby Showers have been shattered. Baby Showers can be worth the free (Yes, I'm cheap) price of admission.

"Police arrest 3 in 'Baby Shower Gone Bad'"

Mark and Jeremy's rules for photo ops with tigers:
1. Never, ever let Seth go first.
This Tiger was comfortably napping in a great position for a photo op when Seth went first. Seth (notice right hand) could not resist one of his childlike urges to pinch the tiger as his going away present. Needless to say, Mr. Tiger assumed another position with considerably less relaxation and comfort for our photo ops.
2. Always take a photo op opportunities with tigers after they have had their lunch.
3. Don't wear black clothing. Tigers, like cats, shed like crazy.
Blogger, as compared to Seth, gets along great with cats of all sizes. In fact, he's sort of like a Seigfried or Roy when it comes to cats. Except with better taste in clothing. And Blogger's straight. Uhm, just forget that whole analogy.