Blogger Explains Politics

For many people out there, politics are a mystery. They bewilder many people because of the incredible intricacies of the childish antics so often used.

Blogger will open the eyes of the masses with a cutting edge in depth look of the creation of our political system and where it has led us today.

Creation of the two party system

Blogger has two words for you: Solitaire stinks!

So early in our nation's history a bunch of the old guys who founded our country started creating political parties. And boy, did they party in style! The Whigs and the Democrats were the most popular at the time - but not with each other.

Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton escalated the competitive spirit of the whole thing a bit when Burr shot Hamilton, grabbed a bunch of people, and took off for Texas. As a Public Defender, I can attest that in these days, Texas is the last place you want to be if you shot someone.

After fifty some years of further haggling, Whigs went out of fashion and Republicans came into play (and with a bang). The Civil War was fought because Democrats - as many of them do today - hate Republicans with a vengeance and want to kill them even if means destruction of the whole nation. Like during the Civil War, Democrats still see the world in shades of gray and prefer horseback to modern machinery. Although the modern Democrat detests spurs and reins.

The two parties pretty much beat up on each other successfully for the intervening hundred and forty years with occasional timeouts to fight Germany. But darn it, Germany quit starting wars and the middle east just doesn't size up to Europe when it comes to distracting us from each other.

Which leads us to today and our commonly held symbols. Many of you, for instance, are unfamiliar with the common meaning of the donkey (Democrat) and Elephant (Republican) as political mascots.

I could give you the story that they have in history books, but you'd be bored stiff. Mine's much more entertaining.

Donkey's and Democrats have the obvious in common. To expound on that is to dilute the sweet fruit of concentrated truth with the three cups of water that make canned Orange Juice palatable.

But a cup of cold water comes with the elephant: a creature that symbols the gentle strength and intellectual bigness of the Republican Party. Or so I've heard. Or think. Which is the same thing since I say what I think and listen to what I say.

Which is another thing of saying that I'm writing this evening with no set purpose in mind other than to show to the whole blogging world that I'm still alive and can type, even if I'm brain dead from too much activity.

Concentrated fruit.

Cold Water.

I'll be ok.

Blogger Breaks Down Debates

The Presidential Debates have been an increasingly popular topic of conversation. Blogger breaks down what happened in last night's debate.

Moderator: At what point would you decide to use force?

Kerry: That's a very good question. I'm glad you asked that. I think it's very important that we get global support and unlike my opponent, not just from our allies. I think it's important to ask countries that hate America exactly what they think we should do as well. And let me make this clear, I will not give a foreign power veto power over our foreign policy decisions! Particularly England, Israel, or any of our staunch supporters.

Moderator: President Bush, how are you going to get our economy moving again?

President Bush: Our economy is moving again. And it will continue to move forward because the key to a healthy economy is. . . . . .education! My administration has pledged not leave any children behind. Schools are once again told that they must emphasize math and science. We're offering Pell grants. Our economy is moving in the right direction and will continue to move in the right direction because we have made education a real priority for the American People.

And there you have it, the presidential debates in a nutshell.

Language Limitations in Blogger's Profession

Blogger has mentioned the different wavelength that his clients often talk up. He is not referring to the different languages spoken. If so, Blogger friend Jonathan Davis http://jonmatdav.blogspot.com/ could interpret. He is referring to more than just Spanglish, Ebonics, or plain old street talk.

But I've already given this speech. The latest entertainment for Blogger was explaining to client that he was being offered a drug program that he could do outpatient, but if that he took it to trial, he would lose and with his record, be facing state prison.

Blogger: "This is a good deal. It will keep you out of Prison. You should take."

Client: "But the cop maced me. I fainted."

Blogger: "I know and I sympathize, but they will drop the resisting arrest charge and just convict you for possession and they won't hold your prison priors against you."

Client: "I don't care. I want to fight. This is wrong."

Blogger: "But if you fight it, you will lose. Is a jury going to believe the cop or believe you?"

Client: "I don't know. I want to try it."

Blogger: "Let me give you a hint. There is absolutely no way that they will believe you."

Client: "I want to fight it."

Blogger: "Even if they did believe that the cop had roughed you up a bit, you'd still be guilty of the charges."

Client: "I want to fight it." (Blogger suspects that in the background, Clients imaginative brain had the Rocky Theme song playing).